Title: Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear
Author: Kim Brooks
Pages: 233
Finished: March 20, 2019
First Sentence: It happened in the parking lot of a strip mall during the first week of March 2011, my last morning in Virginia, at the end of a visit with my parents.
Summary: Kim Brooks left her 4-year-old in a car on a mild day in a safe town while she went in to buy headphones. When she came back out, he was still happily playing on his iPad. What she didn't know was that a "good Samaritan" had filmed her kid in the car and called the police who issued a warrant for her arrest. What follows is a look at how fear has changed parenting.
Thoughts: Content-wise, I really liked this book. I am not an anxious parent. On the whole, I believe my kid is relatively safe at the park without me hanging next to her the whole time. I believe that I can be in a completely different room of the house than her without it being a problem. A couple weeks ago, an internet scare went around. While everyone was freaking out, I actually fact checked the claims, realized they were not true, and that the reality was A) not as bad as everyone thought it was and B) easily mitigated. But when I mentioned this, I was maligned for not taking it seriously... Also I was apparently victim blaming by suggesting parents monitor their kids' internet usage.
So as she talked, I felt myself agreeing. There were many things I related with. The idea that fathers can get away with plenty of things that are no issue, but when a mom does them, it's suddenly neglect. The idea that people are afraid of things that are incredibly unlikely to happen, but they have no issue with things like their 16-year-olds driving. That by keeping our kids so safe, we're not allowing them to be kids.She also had a lot to say about how she was making choices thanks to the freedom of living in America. But she also realized that if she lived somewhere else that had socialized healthcare, socialized childcare, and reasonable parental leave, she would have been free to make more choices. Her points were so spot on.
But I disliked her writing style. The frame was the true story of her arrest experience of leaving her kid in the car and the after effects of that. So she'd tell a part of the story and then present an argument. Many of the arguments were presented but no conclusion was made which was frustrating. And in general, this author is a very anxious parent. While reading the book, I felt my own anxiety rising which was beyond frustrating because I'm not anxious. In fact, I found myself more anxious about other parents than I am about my kid.
In general, the information is good. I think the human aspect of her experience makes this a bit more accessible than some of the other books warning the same things, but it is rather difficult if you already have anxiety issues.
So as she talked, I felt myself agreeing. There were many things I related with. The idea that fathers can get away with plenty of things that are no issue, but when a mom does them, it's suddenly neglect. The idea that people are afraid of things that are incredibly unlikely to happen, but they have no issue with things like their 16-year-olds driving. That by keeping our kids so safe, we're not allowing them to be kids.She also had a lot to say about how she was making choices thanks to the freedom of living in America. But she also realized that if she lived somewhere else that had socialized healthcare, socialized childcare, and reasonable parental leave, she would have been free to make more choices. Her points were so spot on.
But I disliked her writing style. The frame was the true story of her arrest experience of leaving her kid in the car and the after effects of that. So she'd tell a part of the story and then present an argument. Many of the arguments were presented but no conclusion was made which was frustrating. And in general, this author is a very anxious parent. While reading the book, I felt my own anxiety rising which was beyond frustrating because I'm not anxious. In fact, I found myself more anxious about other parents than I am about my kid.
In general, the information is good. I think the human aspect of her experience makes this a bit more accessible than some of the other books warning the same things, but it is rather difficult if you already have anxiety issues.
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