Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds

Title: Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You

Author: Jason Reynolds, Ibram X. Kendi

Pages: 248

Finished: August 15, 2020

First Sentence: Before we begin, let's get something straight.

Summary: Middle Grade author Jason Reynolds takes Ibram X. Kendi's Stamped from the Beginning and rewrites it for the middle school audience. This not-a-history book follows the history of racism against Black people from the 1400s in Europe to when it hopped over the Atlantic to the English Colonies all the way through 2015 ish.

Thoughts: I have not read the original book for adults, so I don't know how this compares. 

Regarding subject matter - this book is important to read. The saying "history is written by the victors" really shines when we see the other side to the story. Historical figures we've been brought up admiring as paragons of humanity don't come off in such a great light in this book. As a white person living in America who tries to be antiracist but understands that I have a lot to learn and continue learning, this history was illuminating. It also illustrates that people have flaws. People have flawed thinking. And people's ideas can change.

Reynolds breaks people into three groups: Segregationalists - people who are racist and want to be separate from those who are different from them, Assimilationists - people who say they're okay with people who are different from them as long as those people try to be the same as them, and Antiracists - people who believe that everyone is cool as they are. What I found interesting was how many Black leaders he identified as Assimilationists but who then, as they continued trying to fight for equality moved towards Antiracist thoughts. And how, as dangerous as they were when they were assimilationists, when they started talking antiracism, that's when they were assassinated. Lots of things to consider.

Regarding writing style - This book is written with middle schoolers in mind. It's very conversational in tone. There's a lot of sarcasm. I thought it worked really well for the age range it's meant for. I also really liked how he mentioned that yes, some of these words are uncomfortable and that's okay. Sit in the discomfort. While I found I wanted more information on things, I think this is a good start to an overview. The writing is quick and snappy. There's enough information there as a primer. There's a list of further reading for any interested plus extensive notes. And of course, there's Kendi's original book to read if I want more. I suspect it's written a bit less snappy. Occasionally, Reynolds throws down a label that feels really antagonistic, but I think that's more my privilege talking than the reality. 

For people interested in starting out their work on antiracism, this is a good starting point. But it is written to a middle school level. Adults may find it immature in a way. For them, I'd suggest seeking out Kendi's original work. I would definitely recommend this to 7th grade and up as well as parents looking to start or continue racism and antiracism discussions with their teens. 

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen

Title: How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen

Author: Joanna Faber and Julie King

Pages: 385

Finished: August 8, 2015

Summary: Dinner's over and you ask your kid to put their dish in the dishwasher. They say no. You push back. Next thing you know, kid is upstairs screaming in their room during a time out and you're taking deep breaths to calm yourself all over a stupid plate. Why couldn't your kid just put the plate in the dishwasher. It would have taken less energy than that test of wills. 

Joanna Faber and Julie King daddress how we can talk to our kids in ways that will acknowledge their feelings and encourage them to cooperate rather than frustrate.

Thoughts: While we ran a parenting book discussion with this book a few years ago, I did not partake either as a staff member or a patron. But boy do I wish I had. Pandemic and new baby has made things hard for Kid 1. Suddenly we were noticing behavior problems up the wazoo. Battles of wills over plates or washing her hands or putting her shoes by the door. Some of it absolutely was an anxiety response, and we reached out to a family counselor for help there. But some of it was just good, old-fashioned boundary pushing. So I picked up this book. 

Within minutes of reading the first chapter, I started putting Faber's and King's ideas into practice. And our fights decreased by about 50%. Each successive chapter, I added in the new techniques and we acheived a mostly peaceful household. 

That's not to say we still don't have boundary pushing. And there's still a lot of anxiety, but we can deal with that. And without the help of the counselor. Unfortunately, she was not a good fit for our child and I get to make the phone call Monday to stop seeing her all together.

But what was it about the book that worked so well? Honestly? I liked how the authors kept remidning us how would we feel if adults talked to us the way we talk to our kids. We'd hate it. We may do as we're told because we're adults, but we'd be resentful, angry, and likely looking for new jobs. 

The first chapter is all about acknowledging feelings. One of those things that makes so much sense when we hear it, but that most people don't put into practice. Kid falls on the sidewalk. Parent: Oh... you're okay. It's not that bad. See? You're not even bleeding. Of course the kid's going to feel even more hurt. Since doing this, we've been able to get her down from most of her temper tantrums.

The authors go on to discuss ways to encourage cooperation. For example, changing the order into a reminder. So instead of, "Put your plate in the dishwasher," we can just go, "Dishes!" It works! Every. Single. Time. Or describe what we see. "Oh... I see a plate sitting on the table." Or be playful. "Kid! You plate's begging for a bath. Do you hear?" *make plate voice* "Please Kid. Please let me have a bath. I need to be clean for tomorrow."

Each chapter has the tools, sotires from a parent group the women worked with, cartoons to show the steps, and then an outline of hte tools. 

The book can be repetitive. Many reviewers mention that it could be an article instead, but I feel people don't read and retain articles the way they do books. I liked the cartoons not for me, but for people who may be more visual learners. The stories were fantastic because we could see real world examples. 

Many reviewers complained that the author doesn't believe in punishment. I can't speak to that as I agree with the authors on this one. When we send our kid to her room, the situation is made 10,000 times worse and the behavior continues the next day. Upping the ante just gets worse. Even before reading the book, I was trying to come up with different things to punishments because I was questioning the why behind what we were doing and whether it was actually useful. The solutions presented here were really helpful. 

Also, the authors do believe in limits and boundaries. Just the way they handle the breaking of the boundary is less draconian. 

I can't find the exact quote, so I'll paraphrase. The bit that stuck out to me the most was when one of the parents in the group complained about how exhausting all of this was and either Joanna or Julie replied with something like, "Sure, but I'm going to be exhausted at the end of the day either way. At least this way I'm exhausted and happy." 

And that's ultimately it. I'd been going to bed at night resolving to figure out a better way tomorrow because I was feeling like a horrible mother. Crabby and yelling all the time. Stretched thin. Stressed. Exhausted from all these battles of will. Since reading these techniques, I'm still tired, but I don't feel so worn out. Everyone is happier and the anxiety levels in the house have dropped. Amazing how that works. 

Classic Club Spin 24

EDITED! Spin number is 18: Twelfth Night for me! I've never read this one before, nor have I seen any adaptation other than She's the Man. Just put my preferred edition on hold at the library and hope to pick it up in a week's time!

1. Winter's Tale 
2. East of Eden 
3. Pride and Prejudice
4. Study in Scarlet 
5. Martin Chuzzlewit
6. Persuasion
7. Endless Night 
8. Sanditon and Other Tales
9. Peter Pan
10. Persuasion
11. Study in Scarlet 
12. Sanditon and Other Tales
13. Peter Pan 
14. Winter's Tale 
15. Twelfth Night 
16. Endless Night 
17. Anna Karenina 
18. Twelfth Night 
19. Handmaid's Tale 
20. Pride and Prejudice

Hoo boy! Last Spin crashed and burned hard, but that's understandable as I was in my third trimester / just had a baby. 

Now, it's been no secret that my reading has stalled mightily as previous blog posts state. Classics definitely haven't been much in my wheelhouse at the moment. Perhaps the spin will give me that push! 

This time around, I curated my list with the remaining books on my club list plus a couple classics from other challenges I wanted to sign up for this year. That resulted in 15 books. I doubled the list, sent it through a randomizer, and then curated from there. While we do have 8 weeks, I took some of the longest books either off my spin list entirely, or just made sure they only appeared once. 

Most looking forward to? One of the Austen novels. 
Hoping it's not? Anything over 400 pages. Also, not really in the mood for a dystopia.