Title: Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool
Author: Emily Oster
Pages: 291
Finished: February 29, 2020
First Sentence: Regardless of whether you had the childbirth you always imagined or, in the words of a colleague, "got a little panicked at the end," you will find yourself in a recovery room a few hours later.
Summary: Economist Emily Oster takes a look at data for common questions about raising infants and toddlers. She explains what makes a good study, and shows how the data supports some basic conclusions, even when those conclusions go against common practices.
Thoughts: My spouse and I are fairly relaxed parents. That being said, with baby 2 only nine weeks out, my brain is starting to work in overdrive and I just needed some reassurance on decisions we are making.
I really liked this book. With our first child, I fell hard into the attachment parenting, no cry ever sleep methods etc. Here's the thing, I like most of how we raised our first kid, but I won't deny there was a level of stress. I think we calmed down somewhat over the first year, but now I find myself thinking, "Am I going to harm my second child if I put her down for five minutes to spend some time by herself at 4 months old?"
Oster looked at as many studies, surveys, and other information gathering resources for various things like benefits of breastfeeding, sleep training, day-care vs stay-at-home mom, etc. And the data overwhelmingly shows for just about everything you likely won't harm your child provided you're making the best choice for your family.
Take breastfeeding - one of the biggest mommy war fights. There's a huge campaign for breast is best. Woman are shamed for formula feeding. Yet the data shows there's really only a short term benefit for kids and not nearly as huge as the breastfeeding community claims. I breastfed my first and I plan on breasfeeding my second because, for me, it was ultimately more convenient. But it was really nice to see that if I do need to formula feed my child, I'm not going to cause harm.
The only exception to this whatever you choose likely won't harm your child was the chapter on vaccines. The evidence is overwhelming that vaccines work, vaccines are safe, and you should vaccinate your child.
My favorite part of the entire book, however, was the passage on illnesses. Perhaps it's because we just went through the cold from hell that took out the entire family. But I will quote the entire passage here because it's just too god to not share. I read it out loud to my partner, and we laughed so hard, our cold ridden bodies had long coughing fits.
That being said, a lot of it is common sense. By the time you have your second kid, you've likely figured a lot of this out for yourself. It's worth noting, she has another book called Expecting Better for during pregnancy. I've not read it, nor do I plan to ever be pregnant again, but it sounds like it could be worth checking out.
Counts for the Library Love challenge.
I really liked this book. With our first child, I fell hard into the attachment parenting, no cry ever sleep methods etc. Here's the thing, I like most of how we raised our first kid, but I won't deny there was a level of stress. I think we calmed down somewhat over the first year, but now I find myself thinking, "Am I going to harm my second child if I put her down for five minutes to spend some time by herself at 4 months old?"
Oster looked at as many studies, surveys, and other information gathering resources for various things like benefits of breastfeeding, sleep training, day-care vs stay-at-home mom, etc. And the data overwhelmingly shows for just about everything you likely won't harm your child provided you're making the best choice for your family.
Take breastfeeding - one of the biggest mommy war fights. There's a huge campaign for breast is best. Woman are shamed for formula feeding. Yet the data shows there's really only a short term benefit for kids and not nearly as huge as the breastfeeding community claims. I breastfed my first and I plan on breasfeeding my second because, for me, it was ultimately more convenient. But it was really nice to see that if I do need to formula feed my child, I'm not going to cause harm.
The only exception to this whatever you choose likely won't harm your child was the chapter on vaccines. The evidence is overwhelming that vaccines work, vaccines are safe, and you should vaccinate your child.
My favorite part of the entire book, however, was the passage on illnesses. Perhaps it's because we just went through the cold from hell that took out the entire family. But I will quote the entire passage here because it's just too god to not share. I read it out loud to my partner, and we laughed so hard, our cold ridden bodies had long coughing fits.
As the parent of a young child, you will spend the period from October to April drowning in a lake of snot. To many of us, it may seem that our child has a cold, or possibly some other illness, literally all the time. If you have two children or, god forbid, more than two, the winter months are a haze of repeated illnesses: you, kid 1, kid 2, your partner, back to kid 2, now kid 1 again. Usually there's a dose of stomach flu somewhere in the middle (you all get that, obviously).
This can naturally leave you wondering, Is this normal? Is everyone else spending their life savings on tissues with lotion, too?
Basically, yes.
Kids younger than school age get an average of six to eight colds a year, most of them between September and April. This works out to about one a month. These colds last on average fourteen days. A month is thirty days. So in the winter, on average, your kid will have a cold 50 percent of the time. On top of this, most kids end their cold with a cough that can last additional weeks. It adds up.Part of me wants to say this book is a must read, if for no other reason than it will hopefully help end the mommy wars. Seriously moms! Can we stop being so freaking judgmental of each other? It's also really helpful in relieving some anxiety. For example, we were an absolute no cry sleep family for my first, and it was exhausting. From what I'm reading here, sleep training does not actually harm your child, and it does help prevent things like depression, or other sleep deprived mood issues which make things better for everyone. The author is funny. the book is a quick read.
That being said, a lot of it is common sense. By the time you have your second kid, you've likely figured a lot of this out for yourself. It's worth noting, she has another book called Expecting Better for during pregnancy. I've not read it, nor do I plan to ever be pregnant again, but it sounds like it could be worth checking out.
Counts for the Library Love challenge.
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